Nostalgia
by nirvanah
Summary: Lister has a big secret...


Nostalgia

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Red Dwarf.**

**A/N: ****This is just an idea I've had in my head for sometime. Enjoy! ******

**Nostalgia**

Reality hit Lister like a high-speed freight train, a meteor of truth, travelling at the speed of light and shattering his nightmares.

He cried out and sat up, terrified, breathing fast. He grabbed the bed covers and pulled them around himself, then pushed them as far away from him as possible, in a cold sweat. He was trembling all over, his heart pounding.

"Lister?" Rimmer mumbled, in a state of being half-asleep and half-awake.

Lister couldn't reply.

"How could I forget that tonight's the night of your annual nightmare?" Reluctantly the hologram sat up and ran his hands through his hair, "Lights,"

Lister blinked as the bright lights came on in their sleeping quarters, and wrapped his arms around himself reassuringly, rocking up and down slightly for added comfort.

"The same as usual?" Rimmer asked.

"Y- Yeah," Lister replied.

"Are you going to tell me what it is this year then?" The hard light enquired, looking up at his distressed bunkmate.

Lister shook his head.

"But why-" Rimmer began.

"I'm sorry," Lister interrupted, sounding a little chocked up, "I've got to go-" he jumped down from his bunk and left the room.

_What is wrong with him? _Rimmer thought, as he lay back down again.

Every year at exactly one o'clock on exactly the same month, on exactly the same day, Lister would have a nightmare. The strange thing was that it was always the same nightmare; it never varied. This was what made Rimmer think that it was Lister's guilty conscience.

But what could he possibly have done that was so bad?

Lister sat alone in the cockpit, gazing out of the window at space. He needed someone to talk to, someone to tell his terrible secret to. He couldn't hide it anymore, couldn't take the weight it left, looming over his chest. He needed to tell somebody, somebody who would listen, understand, not use it to blackmail him, and defiantly not tattle. It was the most forbidden secret he had, buried deep within the recess of his mind, something he only accessed today, and even then, it wasn't done with intent. It was a secret that had been poignant in his mind even before he had joined the space corps, so a secret that should have been forgotten three million years ago.

But how could he?

How could he forget?

"Oh… Smegging Hell!" Rimmer grumbled, tossing and turning in his bunk. He just couldn't sleep, not knowing that something was wrong with Lister. He had to admit, he was a _tad _concerned for his younger bunkmate. He wanted to go and find him, just to check up on him and see if he was all right, but he couldn't, he wouldn't know how to act. Lister had sounded upset before he left the room, and Rimmer had never really seen him like that, or if he had, he couldn't remember.

Nevertheless, after a few minutes of speech preparation he got up. The cold struck him when he got out, reminding him of one of the less enjoyable traits of being a hard light hologram. When he was fully dressed and about to leave he noticed that Lister had left the blanket he usually wrapped around himself when he wanted to skulk around the ship in a grubby t-shirt and boxers, and grabbed it before he left.

Now alone in the medibay, lying on the bed, which had not been made up due to the fact that there was no need, David Lister began to feel a great wave of depression descend over him. He shut his eyes tight, deciding that if he slept here then maybe he wouldn't have the nightmare again. However, it was cold and harsh, just like the thoughts circling his mind.

That's when he heard footsteps coming towards the medibay. He was surprised by this certain pair because he knew instinctively who they belonged to, and this person wasn't who he was expecting to come and find him.

"Lister?" Rimmer stopped in the doorway.

Lister sat up and looked at Rimmer, "Hi," he said glumly.

"Er… are you planning to sleep here tonight?"

Lister nodded.

"You'll want this then…" Rimmer stepped forward and handed him the blanket.

"Cheers man,"

There was an awkward pause.

"Er… Listy?"

Lister raised his eyebrows in reply.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Rimmer shifted uncomfortably.

Lister hesitated, as if mulling the idea over, then shook his head, smiling slightly, to say 'thanks anyway'.

Rimmer nodded, "Okay. …well, if you want to talk… you know…" he trailed off, and shrugged.

"I'll let you know…" Lister said simply.

"Goodnight then,"

"Night…"

Lister watched Rimmer leave.

Then he was alone again.

With a secret, he just couldn't forget…

**TBC**

**A/N: Let me know what you think! ;D**


End file.
